1.
Jessica was told her uncle was a Big Wheel in the travelling amusement industry. But she wished he was a Bumper Car.
2.
It turned out the Bearded Lady just had a hedgehog on her face.
3.
The Whack-a-Moles rebelled and broke little Jimmy’s legs.
4.
The toffee and the apple
Did something very naughty.
They made a baby, impaled the blighter
And sold it for £1.40
5.
Dentists reveal that dental floss and candy floss are not interchangeable.
6.
Mr Round, who ran the ring toss
Got himself a wife.
He threw a diamond over her finger
Now she’s his for life.
7.
Mrs Crumpet’s nudey ladies
Are here to entertain you.
But don’t you get too touchy-feely
Or Mrs Crumpet will restrain you.
She’ll offer you exotic artistes
Not some common strumpet.
For man cannot live by bread alone.
He needs a bit of Crumpet.
(for Guy)
8.
The Elephant in the Big-Top
Has a trunk both front and back.
You never know which is for eating peanuts
And which will spray out cak.
9.
The zebra moved to live performance after Technicolour ruined her film career.
10.
The lesser known cousin to the Tunnel of Love
Is called the Tunnel of Hate.
It never proved too popular.
Because you wouldn’t go with a mate.
11.
The Ghost train was running late due to a signal failure at Clapham Junction.
12.
The snake-charmer was a self-harmer,
Addicted to the sting of the twisty bitey thing.
13.
The strong man could bench press 13 children, but was no longer allowed to.
14.
The hula girl likes round things,
Circles, hoops and curving.
But corners are the devils work
They hide monsters and are unnerving.
15.
Never ask for a donkey ride unless you mean it.
16.
The Lizard Man had shiny scales
He polished them with wax.
And proudly presented his long green tail
By cutting holes in the backs of his slacks.
17.
Timid Tilly quietly runs
The Carnival coconut shy
She hides behind the counter
Letting punters pass on by.
The coconuts taunt Tilly
Calling her a nervous nutter
So she knocked them down, one by one
Now she’s an Olympic shot-putter.